him with the kid he helped get back on his feet. the one holding the white board. he spoke at his funeral. the world lost so much the night he died. for such an exceptional person to fade away into nothingness makes me feel like there is no purpose to or reason for life or to live. its inevitable. I'll die one day. I wonder at times why leave my brother waiting for me, if he somehow is? and if he isnt, then whats the point of being here anyways? I need to find a purpose to exist.